Yes, the Fuzzy Prick really is a cocktail. It’s also a great way to insult a guy while pretending to be hospitable. Like, if you’re buying the first round, you guess what everyone wants, and when you get to the guy you don’t like, you ... READ MORE]]> Yes, the Fuzzy Prick really is a cocktail. It’s also a great way to insult a guy while pretending to be hospitable. Like, if you’re buying the first round, you guess what everyone wants, and when you get to the guy you don’t like, you say, “And you – Fuzzy Prick?” And he gets all flustered and angry, and you blink innocently and say, “It’s a Fuzzy Navel with pineapple juice instead of orange. Have you never had one? Oh, you’re missing out!”

Or something like that.

The Fuzzy Prick is also one of the simplest drinks you can make. You don’t even have to strain the ice out when you pour.

The Fuzzy Prick

• 2 ounces peach schnapps
• 4 ounces pineapple juice

Shake everything together with ice and pour into a highball glass.

Because the Fuzzy Prick is definitely sweet and fruity, serve it with salty snacks like nuts or bacon-wrapped scallops. For a meal, marinate and grill something in spicy pineapple teriyaki.

Like most cocktail recipes with the word “Hawaiian” in them, the Hawaiian Brandy is fruity and sweet. Its main ingredient is Calvados, an apple brandy from Lower Normandy. Next up is pineapple juice, followed by nicely blended touches of cherry-almond and lemon. It sounds like ... READ MORE]]> Like most cocktail recipes with the word “Hawaiian” in them, the Hawaiian Brandy is fruity and sweet. Its main ingredient is Calvados, an apple brandy from Lower Normandy. Next up is pineapple juice, followed by nicely blended touches of cherry-almond and lemon. It sounds like an impossible smorgasbord of fruit flavors that may not play nice with each other, but the ratios are just right to make it subtle and delicious.

It’s a little more grown-up and complex than, say, a Blue Hawaiian, but just as escapist.

Hawaiian Brandy

• 2 ounces Calvados apple brandy
• 1 ounce pineapple juice
• 1/4 ounce Maraschino liqueur
• 1 dash lemon juice

Shake with ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a pineapple wedge.

The Hawaiian Brandy is ideal for sipping along with a barbecue. Grill some ribs or other meats in a tangy sauce, along with some veggies or a salad, and you’ve got a perfect backyard meal.

The Blue Hawaiian is akin to the Pina Colada, based on rum and cream of coconut and promising a little taste of tropical paradise. The big difference is the color: as the name suggests, it’s blue. Specifically, it’s the color of a sparkling pool on ... READ MORE]]> The Blue Hawaiian is akin to the Pina Colada, based on rum and cream of coconut and promising a little taste of tropical paradise. The big difference is the color: as the name suggests, it’s blue. Specifically, it’s the color of a sparkling pool on a clear, sunny afternoon.

Unlike unmixed alcoholic drinks, cocktails are about visual appeal as well as taste and kick. Even without a cocktail umbrella and a pineapple-cherry garnish, this cocktail has it all.

Blue Hawaiian

• 1 ounce Blue Curaçao
• 1 ounce white rum
• 3 ounces pineapple juice
• 1 ounce sweetened coconut cream

There are a few options for how you mix this drink. You can shake everything with ice in a shaker, then strain it into the glass. Or you can leave the ice in when you pour it into the glass. You can also put the ingredients and the ice into a blender and make it a blended drink.

Chips

You know what goes surprisingly well with this drink? Salt and Vinegar potato chips. Or Salt and Pepper potato chips. Actually, just about any kind of good kettle chips will give you a nice salty/starchy contrast to this drink, which is somewhat filling on its own, thanks to the coconut cream.

You could think of the Painkiller as a more grown-up version of the Piña Colada. This cocktail recipe uses dark rum instead of light, and adds orange juice and nutmeg in place of the cream, making it a little more tart and sophisticated. But the ... READ MORE]]> You could think of the Painkiller as a more grown-up version of the Piña Colada. This cocktail recipe uses dark rum instead of light, and adds orange juice and nutmeg in place of the cream, making it a little more tart and sophisticated. But the easy-going tropical pineapple and coconut flavors still dominate.

The original recipe was developed by Daphne Henderson, who ran a bar called The Soggy Dollar in the British Virgin Islands. It’s still a secret, but the Pusser Rum company came up with this version, which apparently tastes much like the original.

The Painkiller

• 2 ounces of Pussers Navy (Dark) Rum
• 1 ounce Cream of Coconut
• 1 ounce of orange juice
• 3 ounces of pineapple juice
• Sprinkle of nutmeg

Shake everything but the nutmeg, then strain into a glass filled with ice. Garnish with a sprinkle of nutmeg on top. You can tweak the ingredient ratios to your taste.

Go complex

This cocktail goes great with complex flavors. This chicken terriyaki recipe is a bit less sweet than some others, and with the addition of sesame seeds and red pepper flakes, you get a taste that’s delicious but hard to pin down, and a perfect complement to The Painkiller. Another delicious option is Smoked Salmon with 5 Peppercorn Crust. For a snack of finger food to go with your Painkillers, you can’t beat Thai Basil Rolls with Hoisin Peanut Sauce.

The Piña Colada is a summertime classic that deserves more respect than it gets. It may be sweet and it may be palatable to people who don’t drink much or are just starting, but it’s a wonderful treat for seasoned cocktail lovers, too.

The classic recipe ... READ MORE]]> The Piña Colada is a summertime classic that deserves more respect than it gets. It may be sweet and it may be palatable to people who don’t drink much or are just starting, but it’s a wonderful treat for seasoned cocktail lovers, too.

The classic recipe is simply one part white rum, one part coconut cream and three parts pineapple juice, and it’s delicious. But there are some other options.

Piña Colada

• 1 jigger of white rum
• 1 ounce of dark rum
• 1 jigger coconut cream (Coco Lopez is the best choice – whatever you pick, just avoid coconut milk)
• 1 ounce of heavy cream
• 3 ounces of pineapple juice
• 1 dash of Angostura bitters

Put everything in a blender, adding ice if you like, and blend it for about 15 seconds. Pour it into a hurricane glass and garnish with a slice of pineapple and/or maraschino cherry. This is a great drink for parties, especially if you have non-drinkers among your guests – the non-alcoholic piña colada tastes awesome.

Salad!

Honestly, the Piña Colada goes with just about any food. But one really great snack or appetizer to pair with it is fried plantain chips – the recipe I’ve linked here is not at all sweet, and the salty, starchy contrast with the drink is a lot of fun. For a meal choice, dinner salads work well with this somewhat heavy drink. Check out hoisin chicken salad or spinach salad with strawberries.

Ever wondered what happens if you mix loads of rum with several different fruit juices and drink the results? Answer: the fruit masks how much alcohol you’re consuming, and you find yourself in a stupor. The Zombie contains 3.5 times as much alcohol as you ... READ MORE]]> Ever wondered what happens if you mix loads of rum with several different fruit juices and drink the results? Answer: the fruit masks how much alcohol you’re consuming, and you find yourself in a stupor. The Zombie contains 3.5 times as much alcohol as you normally find in a fairly strong cocktail. The restaurateur who invented the drink limited customers to two drinks apiece. You have been warned.

Zombie

• 1 jigger white rum
• 1 jigger dark rum
• 1 jigger golden rum
• 1 jigger apricot brandy
• 1 jigger pineapple juice
• 1 jigger papaya juice
• 3/4 ounce 151-proof rum
• Dash of grenadine

Mix everything except the 151-proof rum in a shaker with ice. Pour the mixture into a tall glass (preferably one of the Tiki dudes pictured here, or some novelty shaped glass – it’s just that kind of drink), then top it off with the higher proof rum. You can light it on fire if you want. Or garnish it with a pieces of fruit speared on a cocktail umbrella.

Say Cheese!

With a sweet, fruity drink, I often recommend savory flavors (check out my pairings with the Singapore Sling and Honalulu Cooler). But there’s another way to go, and it’s particularly well-suited to the Zombie: cheese! Try these recipes:

• Black Bean & Cheese Enchiladas
• Roasted garlic white cheese pizza
• Chips or veggies with buttermilk goat cheese with peppercorn dip

The Singapore Sling looks like a glass of Koolaid, and it tastes fruity, so the alcohol effects can sneak up on unsuspecting drinkers. The original recipe was created in the Raffles Hotel in Singapore in the earliy 1900s, then forgotten for a while, then re-created ... READ MORE]]> The Singapore Sling looks like a glass of Koolaid, and it tastes fruity, so the alcohol effects can sneak up on unsuspecting drinkers. The original recipe was created in the Raffles Hotel in Singapore in the earliy 1900s, then forgotten for a while, then re-created from the memories of bartenders. Then it got completely revamped, probably in the ’70s. The original recipe was much simpler than the modern version, and most drinkers agree the modern version is better.

And then there are several variations on the modern version, so I’m going with a recipe that’s a little bit dryer (my preference), but then I’ll tell you how to make it sweeter if that’s your preference.

The Singapore Sling

• 1 1/2 ounces gin
• 3 ounces unsweetened pineapple juice
• 1/4 ounce fresh lime juice
• 1/2 ounce cherry brandy
• 1/4 ounce Cointreau
• 1/4 ounce Bénédictine
• Dash of Angostura bitters
• Pineapple wedge and maraschino cherry for garnish

Shake everything but your garnish with ice, then strain into a highball glass (or a novelty glass – this is definitely the type of drink where that’s fun). Garnish with the pineapple and cherry on a toothpick.

To make the drink more sweet, use 1 ounce of gin and 4 ounces of pineapple juice.

Sweet loves savory

The overall taste of a Singapore Sling is light and fruity, despite the gin, bitters and Bénédictine. Savory dishes go well with this flavor. Try some of these recipes:

• Gyros Burgers – Greek/American fusion.
• Smoked Salmon Mini Cheesecakes – perfect appetizers.
• Any of these tea party sandwich recipes

You don’t often hear about the Honolulu Cooler these days. In fact, you may never have heard of it at all. But if you like pineapple, lime and peach with not a whole lot of alcohol kick, this is one you definitely need to try. ... READ MORE]]> You don’t often hear about the Honolulu Cooler these days. In fact, you may never have heard of it at all. But if you like pineapple, lime and peach with not a whole lot of alcohol kick, this is one you definitely need to try. The Honolulu Cooler also inspires creative presentation – it’s exactly the sort of cocktail that deserves an umbrella, sparklers, of skewered fruit pieces on a long toothpick.

Unlike most of the cocktails you’ll find here, the Honolulu Cooler is great served at room temperature or chilled, making it one of those rare cocktails you can whip up in a hurry when you’ve just gotten your ingredients home from the store. It’s a perfect after dinner drink, or even dessert replacement.

The Honolulu Cooler

• 1 jigger Southern Comfort
• Juice from 1/2 lime
• Pineapple Juice

Fill a tall (Collins) glass with ice. Pour in the lime juice and Southern Comfort. Then pour in your pineapple juice and stir.

Go for Savory

If you don’t opt to drink your Honolulu Cooler all by itself, savory is the flavor you want in your meal or snack. Spicy, salty, whatever – as long as it’s got strong flavor. Applewood smoked bacon is wonderful with a sweet drink like this: use it to make Bacon Roll-Ups or bacon quesadillas. Or try out this vintage recipe from an old 1960s Southern Comfort brochure: